Get Your Fucking Act Together, AusPol!

I’m sorry guys. I just need to get this off of my chest before it explodes or I go on a killing spree or something. Next post will be just one giant, pulsating, veiny, purple-headed dick joke. I promise.

So unless you’ve been hiding under a rock (or aren’t from the ‘Land Girt by Sea’). a federal election is coming up, Labor is spectacularly failing at keeping a leader and Tony Abbott is probably laughing his impish laugh all the way to the most powerful position in the country, poised to fuck up all the decent shit Labor has done over the last couple of years. Oh yeah, and still no gay marriage.

I mean, for FUCK’S SAKE! Winner gets to represent Labor, loser quits politics? Where have I seen this sort of drama-riffic bullshit before? (albeit, with better acting). Watching all this unfold is just painful. Like, “fucking a beehive” painful.

Here’s my idea: Put Gillard and Rudd into a pit filled with melee weapons and let them duke it out. Hell, play this over loudspeakers for the best effect.

Yeah, pretty much.

 

The Liberals are also a fucking laughingstock. What’s their platform again? Last I checked there was a lot of incoherent mumbling, something about boats and a surplus and then something else about being “better than Labor”.

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?  AND THIS?! AND THIS?!

You’re not convincing me to vote for you, you arsehats. You’re convincing me you’re a bunch of petulant little children who couldn’t form a coherent platform to save your lives. Go fuck yourselves you pathetic cunts.

Sadly, there are people who are uncomfortable with brown people and the idea of the teeny-tiny amount of debt that Australia is in* so I guess their tactics work on some people. At least they do with THE ENTIRE FUCKING MEDIA ON THEIR SIDE, not actually doing their fucking job and then wondering why their industry is being slowly killed off -in their minds, thanks to “them gosh-darn world-wide interwebnet thingamajigs”.

When a Hung Parliament (which still seems about as sexy as it sounds) was announced, I remember lamenting to Angry Aussie how I’m just completely disillusioned with politics.

Now, three years later, I’m just plain ol’ angry about the whole thing.

Naturally, with State of Origin on and a select few just plain not giving a shit, my feed on Facebook’s filling up with “OMG WE DUN CARE THE FOOTY’S ON!” and pictures of various fandom memes.

Australians all let us rejoyce…